rude awakening.

i got knocked upside the head by myself today. as i opened a cabinet i knocked myself in the head with it. how, you ask? i don't know. i must be talented. as much as i'm embarrassed at doing so, i think i was trying to tell myself something. it's a good time to realize that i need to be more optimistic and productive. i'm tired of being down, pessimistic, and useless. although i'm pushed for time, i use it wastefully. i'm tired of waiting for the new year to make resolutions, so i will start now. i know i've said this plenty of times but i want to keep reminding myself that i need to be on the "good" track. maybe i might get lucky and end up with a bruise to keep reminding myself how i got it.

first off, i've realized i forgot how to read. i always envied people who read for fun. i never learned the discipline. i only read junk (gossip) and magazines. when i need to read something for work or a manual, i tend to skim and don't really pay attention. that requires patience, which i need to work on. whether it be reading to Connor, i will learn to read again.